Much Doo-Doo About Nothing

By Amanda Rohdenburg – she/her, Director of Advocacy, Outright Vermont

There has been a lot of talk about bathrooms lately.  In the Outright office, in our state, and across the country.  If you haven’t been following: North Carolina—along with some other states—have proposed or passed legislation that forbids transgender people from using public restrooms that correspond to their gender identity.  On a local level, a similar conversation has been going on at Green Mountain Union High School.  Then the federal Departments of Justice and Education published a statement of support for transgender youth to use facilities that correspond to their gender identity in accordance with Title IX.

With transgender rights and bathroom debates gaining such broad attention, a lot of questions have been coming up for folks.  So let’s have a bit of a Q&A!

Q: What does transgender even mean?

A: Transgender describes a person who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.  If a person still identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth, that person is called cisgender.  It’s okay to shorten those words to ‘trans’ and ‘cis,’ so I’ll do that from here on out.

Q: So someone with a different body than mine could be using the same bathroom??

A: Yes! And they do, all the time! All bodies are different, encompass such a huge variety—in size, shape, color, and genitalia.  In fact, the reasons for gender segregated bathrooms Continue reading

Clarina Happenings!

Part II

Engaging Kids by Getting Outside

By Allyson Scanlon, Family & Youth Advocacy Specialist, Clarina Howard Nichols Center

It is that time again… school is coming to an end for the year and the weather in VT is actually pretty GREAT! It also means that it is a wonderful opportunity to get the time and attention of kids who may be significantly struggling with any number of things. For lots of kids, school may actually be preferable than spending every day at home this summer.

That’s why I feel one of the most important programs we offer through Clarina is our Summer Youth Program. Writing this blog, I’m realizing I should probably try to come up with a more exciting name for it, but the good news is that I have been coordinating and facilitating the program for the past four years and kids keep coming so we must be doing something right!

As an individual who is passionate about the outdoors and physical activity, I just see so many links to positivity, friendship strengthening and growth, self-esteem, team-building and confidence-boosting that can be formed simply by engaging in outdoor activity. Not to mention, here we are blessed to be nestled in the beauty of the Green Mountains. That beauty, especially in summer, is something impossible to ignore. I have witnessed kids bonding simply due to the need to walk single file on a narrow mountain trail. Kids who normally tend to follow begin taking the lead because they may be older and feel they finally have a reason to take on a leadership role. Simply meeting a group of new friends, and the feeling of a clean slate that comes along with that – combined with going places they have never been before and/or doing things they simply haven’t done, such as swimming in a pool at the bottom of a natural mountain waterfall – can coax out pieces of a child’s personality that are typically guarded; and not lightly.

Last year we were extremely fortunate to connect with a local horse farm, Hope Grows. Their mission is to encourage personal growth in children and families. They also strive to Continue reading

Clarina Happenings!

 

Part I  

WINGS – We Inspire Girls to Succeed!!

By Ana Cimino, Albert Schweitzer Follow, Clarina Howard Nichols Center

Through the sponsorship of the Albert Schweitzer Fellowship and Clarina Howard Nichols Center, Ana Cimino has spent the year hosting a youth empowerment group that focused on breaking the cycle of gender-based violence. The kids who participate in the group entitled it WINGS – We Inspire Girls to Succeed.

Working with the Clarina Howard Nichols Center, a Vermont agency that serves survivors of domestic violence and their children, Cimino has implemented a program that fosters an empowering and safe environment for kids to heal and grow. The program delivers its curriculum through various modalities, including art, dance, and writing. This program is not a support group, but rather an advocacy program empowering local youth to find their own space to heal, and to open the dialogue on healthy relationships and body image.

Cimino divided the year into two focus areas: defining and developing healthy Continue reading

The Last Girl

By Amy Torchia, Children’s Advocacy Coordinator, Vermont Network Against Domestic and Sexual Violence

(Excerpted from the Spring 2016 Vermont Network Newsletter)

A world where every last girl is valued, safe and able to reach her full potential

As the Network moves forward to actualize our purpose to create a world free of oppression, we envision a world where every last girl is valued, safe and able to reach her full potential. The “last girl” is a helpful metaphor that we use to understand the complexity of oppression and focus our efforts.  Where the last girl thrives, so too will her entire community because she is the most marginalized of them.  As a child advocate who has worked in the violence against women’s movement for many years, I feel hopeful.  I see that we now have an opportunity to talk about and engage young people in a way that we have not before – all because we have said that we want the last girl to thrive.

The Network is committed to examining how multiple forms of oppression compound to impact individuals and communities.  This path leads us right to the last girl.  She is oppressed because of her gender, further oppressed if she is a person of color or may be oppressed because of her ability or class.  She is also oppressed because she is a child.  Although her status as a child is a part of her identity that she will outgrow, it is connected to her other identities – and together they can create a deep rooted set of barriers.

Ultimately, we cannot make the world a better place for the last girl unless we look at all that oppresses her including the power that adults have over children – adultism.  On one hand, it is the hardest form of oppression to confront because it is us who are the Continue reading

Praise My Journey, Not My Intelligence

By “Tabitha”, Age 16

My mom always tells me that I’m doing a good job at home and school. She would surprise me by placing small motivational notes in my lunchbox when I was in elementary school. They would always say how she loved me and to keep up the good work.

Her notes stopped once I got to middle school. I guess she feels they would embarrass me. She is so right!  But, she has never stopped praising me for doing my work. My teachers do the same. They tell me how smart I am. I believe them…sometimes. Secretly, I think what they are saying is a joke. I hate to disappoint the adults in my life, so I play it safe. At home and school, I take on easy projects and assignments. Also, I do my best to look smart. What is this? Where is my confidence?

Educationalist, Carol Dweck, says the problem maybe with how the adults in my life are praising me. In Carol Dweck’s TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) Talk, she explains her theory on Mindsets and how they are relevant to developing a child’s potential. Ms. Dweck explains how children view their intellect and abilities by what Mindset they hold. Her research concluded that two types of Mindsets exist in children, Fixed and Growth.

Children with Fixed Mindsets believe they have limited intelligence and abilities. They tend to be afraid to try new things and take risk. They are fearful of looking dumb and stupid in front of their peers. Looking smart is very high on their list of importance and they will go out their way to hold on to this image. They also believe setbacks and failures Continue reading

High School College Transition

By Megan Fariel, Senior at Hartford High School and Intern at WISE

As a high school senior, I have been thinking a lot about the transition from high school to college. It’s a huge transition, really. A switch from dependence to independence, from childhood to adulthood, and so on. However, one change not talked about very often is the transition to a new environment where sex is treated very differently.

In high school, there aren’t really forums to discuss sex and sexual violence other than health class. This gives the impression that sex is not something high schoolers should be doing, but suddenly, in college, conversations about sex are much more frequent, and people may feel like something is wrong if they haven’t had sex yet. That is a big and confusing transition.

This difference struck me as I took the Dartmouth class Sex, Gender, and Society this fall. It could be time-warp-ish at times: one hour I was in band and the bell rang to go to lunch and the next I was on the Dartmouth campus, talking about race and sex and how Continue reading

Get Out the (Youth) Vote: Millennials are Making Their Voices Heard

by Matt Renaud, Youth Advocate & Prevention Educator at AWARE in Hardwick, VT

It’s been a whirlwind election cycle so far, and it can only get even more interesting from here on out.  If you’ve been devoting any attention to the presidential race – even just on a peripheral level – you’ve probably heard something about how crucial youth voters will be in this year’s election.  As a Youth Advocate, and as someone who was politically involved in my earlier years, I find this really exciting (and long overdue).  We heard this same emphasis on the importance of youth voters in the last two election cycles, with then-Senator and now-President Obama running for office in 2008 and 2012, respectively.  According to Matthew Segal, who is the co-founder of OurTime.org, between 22 and 23 million millennials voted in the 2012 general election, making up 19% of the American electorate.  This was a 1% increase from the amount of youth voters in the 2008 election and there is no doubt the number of youth voters is still growing and also happens to be the most diverse group of any voters in the United States.  You can check out Matthew Segal’s article here.

By the way, I had been wondering this for a while and just in case you had been wondering, too, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a “millennial” as someone born in the 1980s or 1990s (or anyone who is, or will be, between the ages of 17 and 36 during this calendar year).

Check out this short PSA about Youth Voters in this election year from OurTime.org:

It’s easy to say we need to get more youth involved in politics, but many youth may be wondering where and how to voice their ideas, concerns, hopes, and dreams regarding Continue reading

Empathy Books: Big Emotions in Little Bodies

By Savannah Williams, Youth Advocate, The Advocacy Program of Umbrella

I have been an advocate for a little over 11 years, but I’m not only an advocate I’m a mommy too, as I may have mentioned in past blog posts. Since I became a mommy I feel like I have one foot in each world. Sometimes the two worlds will mesh together, but there a times when I want to keep them apart. There are things that I’m not ready to teach my son about yet. People told me that parenting was going to be hard, but I guess I never really believed them until now.

I feel like with the experience and tools that I have learned throughout the years to share with other parents have helped me be the mom that I am today. By no means am I perfect. Nope, not at all. There are days when I think, “Is this going to bite me in the butt when my son is a teenager?” I guess we will see.

I’ve learned the importance of teaching children the right names for their private parts to enhance sexual violence prevention. Ever since my son was born I made sure to teach him the correct terminology. When he was three he decided to tell the cashier that he had a penis and asked her if she had a vagina. The cashier looked at me in horror, and I was having this internal debate on whether I should tell him to hush or use this as a teaching moment. So, I looked at her and asked her, “Well, do you?” Hoping she would be kind enough to share the moment with me, and she did. She was pretty great about actually after she too got over the initial embarrassment.

Which brings me to another tool that I found very useful, making empathy books.

We know that children learn about their emotions, behavior, relationships and how to develop empathy from the adults in their lives. As adults in children’s lives we need to Continue reading

All Aboard the Allyship

By Taylor S., guest youth writer from Outright Vermont

 What is an ally?

An ally is someone who actively and consistently works to unlearn and re-evaluate the systems of oppression within our society, and uses their position of privilege to work with and for a marginalized group of people. Allyship is neither self-assigned nor a form of identity, but rather a continuous process of creating and maintaining relationships based on mutual trust and accountability with marginalized persons or groups of people. The focus of allyship is on the marginalized group or individual because of the lack of needed awareness and recognition within our society, regarding marginalized and subordinated identities.

 But what does that mean…

Allyship can be broken down into three main concepts: Respect, Empathy, and Activism.

Respect

The easiest way to think about respect, is in terms of the Golden Rule: treat others the way that you would like to be treated. Respect is the ability to be wrong. It is accepting people for who they are, in an effort to promote and create a more inclusive community. For example, we all have pronouns that we use on a daily basis, whether they are she/her, he/him, they/them, ze/zir, etc. Respect is asking someone’s pronouns, instead of assuming, and then continuing to use these specified pronouns in future interactions.

 Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When thinking about allyship, empathy is taking that moment to connect with another person and both recognize and understand what they are feeling. Though you may not be able to connect with their direct experiences, you are able to conceptualize the feelings of loss, sadness, or anger. For example, if a child discloses to you that they lost a friend during their coming out process and are now depressed; you may not know what it’s like to come out, Continue reading

Chicken Soup for the Anti-Cisheteropatriarchal Soul

by Rachel Rudi, Youth & Family Services Coordinator, Circle

For the past few weeks, I’ve trudged home from meetings around eight in the evening, eaten something from a box and fallen asleep by 8:35. Sunlight is scarce. Work has not been easy. My body is achey and aggravated and I am impatient, but a large part of me loves those stretches of time that push your limits and force you to be your own friend. Knowing this is not a permanent schedule, where do our minds go when personal growth and community are put on the back burner? Are we comfortable with that inwardness? 

In order to invigorate and sooth myself, I’ve been turning to the videos of StyleLikeU, a mother-and-daughter team who seek out the stories which inform individuals’ style and fashion choices. Dozens of people, largely women and queer folks, spend ten minutes connecting their body to their pain, resistance, and self-possession, slowly removing articles of clothing and getting deeper into why we present to the world as we do. Not only are these testimonies phenomenal educational tools for young people, and not only are they an interesting presence in the fashion world, but they give me enormous hope. Something about the process is so beautifully transcendent and connecting. I am reminded to spend time learning my story, reminded of the ways our lives weave in and out of cultural and historical narratives, reminded that we are encouraged to classify violences and thus isolate ourselves, and our anti-violence work, from the liberation. That is the inwardness I love about this season: the meditations. 

 

 

I first learned of StyleLikeU from following DarkMatter, a duo of south asian trans poets
Alok Vaid-Menon and Janani Balasubramanian. The two have brilliant politics that cut into the truth of identities, languages, and colonialist cisheteropatriarchy. Do yourself a Continue reading